Remoy Philip

writer. creator. producer.

-Not the exact view but whatever

On two occasions today, I started something where very casually. I asked a few people to entertain the thought of doing something communally. The benefit for all would at best be a slight dopamine fix, but other than those temporal benefits, the enterprise would be somewhat and humanely unnecessary. But to my surprise, people came through. And not only did people come through, but they enjoyed and the ability to do it together, maybe meaning a bit more in such a metropolitan void, was so good.

I had this class at Hunter, in fact, it may have been my first class in my whole attempt at re-enrollment. It was a non-fiction workshop and I remember writing some solid diddies and really being impressed with my own abilities as an actual writer; not established, but with the working parts. But honeslty, what I remember most and what I'll hold on to most was the view. Being on the twelfth floor in Manhattan, facing southwest, the panorama of a full window that spanned the room was so genuinely good. I remember at moments in the class, when I was done with people and humanity, done with the technocracy of modernity, that I'd honestly lose myself in that view.

I've had a few classes in that room now, and the effect is still the same. Maybe because I'm still new here, and maybe cause I'll always be new here, in this city, in this megaplex, in this anomoly of a place, but the view is still breathtaking. And even today, after the trash was picked up, after everyone was still riding the sugar mixed with cheap wine high, and everyone said their goodbyes and wished each other well, when I was the last one there, maybe a bit lingering off the last sips of a good anebriation, I looked out that window, well into the early dark night, and saw the electricity of modernity and the structural integrity in all its difference of possibility, and thought to myself like I think to myself many a time, I'm so very lucky.

I hate people, I hate how this world works so systemically, I hate everyone, but damn, it is like how I honestly feel about everyone living here with me and sharing here with me and that in the end is really and honestly so very good.

Without Relent,