Remoy Philip

writer. creator. producer.

Atta boy Dov

So my mind, it's pretty large, but here's a few things for you and me to chew on.

I found out yesterday that American Apparel is basically done. I guess when your stock drops down to a dollar and you have 8 thousand stores (that sounds about right) it's probably a good sign to bow out. Well, this makes me unhappy. I mean not that I shop there often, in fact I don't think I've ever bought anything there, but still. I mean, I'm hip, and very close, ok I'll say it, I'm a hipster. And even if I didn't shop there, I thought about it. I knew people who bought stuff there. I mean, it's kind of a staple in New York and I'm not talkin' about store fronts. And here's what makes me even unhappier, maybe downright sad. Dov Charney, granted he's insane, has been gettin' a lot of shitty press. It could be considered that his not-so-best-retail-practices are what are sending Legalize LA down the shitter. But here's my quams with that. The shitty press is centered, at least to my lack of knowledge around two things. Exhibit A: They hire hip kids. I mean like uber hip kids. Hip kids who probably do coke and definitely look like they do; regularly. Well, I get it, fair employment should be the standard. Fat chicks and muffin top dudes should be able to work there. But I mean, if you want to sell your undeniably superficial clothes, you put in on the best John. So your employee better look like a coked out (I wanna say whore, but I'm not going to) dude(tte). I mean there have been days where I've put my skinny jeans on and a really tight jersey shirt (with or without a v-neck) and looked in the mirror and thought, "Wow! No!" and then promptly removed the said skinny jeans and really tight jersey shirt (with or without v-neck). And for my sake alone, I can say it was a smart decision because my muffin top just looked a bit too heavy on the top. So that's exhibit A. Now to Part Dos. Dov himself got a lot of heat for doin' the whole, "hey you're cute how old are you? 18. Yeah that's too old. Next!" And so these girls who may or may not have been under the legal limit, he photographed. Provocatively is being kind.

Ok but I have a little contention with this second point. Your'e telling me Dov Charney and American Apparel are getting heat, so much heat that it actually and seriously affected his business, to the point of bankruptcy, and a very major reason for that is because he exploited (I really don't want to say it, but I got to) rich white girls. Are you crazy. I mean even Roman Polanski who outrightly raped a thirteen year old girl gets away with an extended vacation/exile in Switzerland only to then be recognized, not by all but by some, as an artistic saint. And you're telling me all the other major retailers or brands who exploit different countries and their citizens, you know it as "sweat shops" or "child labor" or as I say "colonial rape," are affected, uhmm, not at all. And Dov's campaign for his brand, was "made in america by americans," gets flack cause cute little Gen, short for Geneveve which was previously Jennifer, which she changed at age 14 due to her opinion of her parents' parental malevolence, decided to put on a leotard and bend over. Well lesson learned. If you're going to exploit anyone, anyone, don't let it be the rich white chicks. They'll getchya.

And there's this ludicrousness that permeates everywhere. But man, there's something else I want to go over here. I don't know much about politics or religion (that was both a concession for if I screw something up, but if you didn't catch, it's my setup). But the debates over the Mosque in Lower Manhattan and the religious integrity of Obama is absurd. And most of my argument here is just reiterating Keith Olberman. And the funniest thing he said, which made me giggle like only Remoy can, is the connection between Islam and the War in Iraq. Now we went to war right. I think it's safe to say that our fight, specifically in Iraq, (as if we actually needed to fight this fight but whatever) was to liberate the Iraqis from there bat-shit-insane dictator Saddam Hussein. Now, there was the whole weapons of mass destruction thing, but we've all come to learn, but not come to terms with the fact that Iraq doesn't have those things. So the war went from a war against nuclear war, to a war of protecting the inhabitants of Iraq. Now I'm still waiting for the reasoning for this. Oh, to free the Iraqi's from their oppressive leader. Oh, ok. Wait, so you don't want a Mosque at Ground Zero (which there already is which has been there before the former World Trade Center made its debut, where there also is a representation of all of the three major Abrahamic religions) because that will set a precedent of support for Islamic fundamentalism. Which of course, duh, will lead to terrorism.

So no Mosque because of the negative religious precedent in a country where I'm pretty sure there is a precedent (1st Amendment) for religious freedom. Ok, got it. Yet, you went to war, and wanted to go to war, and allow at least 4 thousand of your troops die to free the Iraqis who, I'm no genius here, but I think, are Muslim (that means they are Islamic). Cool

And this whole Obama thing. A. As if the quality of our country has changed severely based on his religious beliefs. I'm sorry was the economic crash based on Obama's prayers to Allah or more of Reagons prayers to corporations. I don't know. And then there's the whole name thing. Really? Barack Hussein Obama. Sounds islamic. I can go with that. But the man says he's Christian, and I'll take his word on it. But it really doesn't matter to me which god he prays too. But to honor that line of thinking that has Americans shiftin' in their seats about his name, well if that's the case, if his name is the key to unlockin' the secrecy about his religious fervor, well I got a problem them. I mean come on, my name is Remoy Philip. Remoy is like Danish. And Philip, well that's either Hebrew or English (which ever way you wanna look at it). And you don't see me ever wearin' lederhosen and blowin' on a damn ram's horn. You don't see me wearin' wool suits all year round and my skin is definitely not white. So my friends, the name equation, I don't think it really produces.

Lastly, I'm almost done I swear. But it's been a very nostalgic summer for me. Not even at my own hands, but it was kind of like dropped down from above. Anyways, if you didn't know me before, you may not know that I was and still am a romantic comedy/chick-flick kind of guy. I mean to this day, Sleepless in Seattle and Doc Hollywood (and not because of the fact that you get an almost full-frontal with a PG-13 rating) are up there in my list of quality films. The reason being they're fun and they thrive of emotions; mostly good emotions, but emotions. They don't require the mind to work before, during, or after. Your emotions may turn here and there, but in the end they're going to be sunk and you'll be both crying and laughing at the end; well, if it's a good one.

And yeah, I haven't seen a good one in awhile. I tried that hipster attempt called 500 Days of Summer and yeah, as not a perfect hipster, I hated it. I mean, come on you gotta get the girl; especially if her name's Zoey. But there's a couple comin' out, one today, one a couple months from now that got me amped (yes I can involve a high octane word as a superlative for a romantic comedy; try it). First one: The Switch. Now I don't really like Jennifer Aniston. I mean she's pretty, but something about her voice is just annoying. Like really annoying. And I think the same of Bateman. His voice doesn't do it for me. I get that most people find indirect wittiness appealing, but I don't like my leading men to be dorks (I say "my leading men" in heterosexual confidence), but men. And Batemen, well yeah, he's not my man. However, this movie, it looks funny and I mean come on, Jeff Goldblum can redeem anything, and yeah he'll do the same for this one. I can guarantee it. And that little kid, he's so damn cute and funny. His timing looks awesome, and maybe it's just a really well edited trailer, but I'm sold. I would see it tonight if I wasn't already occupied. But don't worry I will.

But the one I'm most excited about, and again if it's just well edited trailer, well done, comes out in November called Love and Other Drugs. I mean it's got Jake "bubble boy" Gyllenhal. And I'd like all you women to realize that before he became a brooding mysterious donnie darko dick he was the funkin' bubble boy. Anyways, he's in it and beautiful Anne Hathaway. I mean she really looks splendid in this movie. And the way her character acts, with a rough, almost boyish exterior, but a soft and romantic interior, is classic. The story is nothin' drastic. Charmer boy charms many a woman, but when he meets a woman who can't be charmed, rather sees through his charm because she herself is a charmer, he falls hard in love. Nothin' wrong with that. And then mix in the fact that he sells Viagra and she's probably dying or something and that's what has built her hard exterior, and you have a sobbing mess of love and emotions. I'm all about it. I'm straight up 'bout it. I can't wait. You know what, watch the trailer, and tell me you aren't swooned and if not by the movie at least by Gyllenhal's dashingness or Hathaways almost naked body graced by her naked curls (not those curls).

This things full of errors and typos and incorrect usages of their/there/they're. But funk it, I think we can still all enjoy it.

Without Relent,